I am back at Millersville University as of last Saturday. Which would have been August, 26th. So far, I am doing well. Becoming acclimated to everything has proven to be easy for me this time around. I think this is due in part to a familiarity that I have with the system now.
I want to do all kinds of things, but I do not do them. Why is that? There is a complete lack of motivation in me right now. That is part of the reason I have not posted in awhile. I do not know what to write about. I wish I did, but I am out of topics currently. I talk about autism a lot, and I talk about anxiety a lot. Those are two topics that I have covered.
I stumbled upon a concept called the seven dimensions of wellness. Thinking of doing a post on that once I sort out my thoughts now that I bring it up. Wellness is something that I need to concentrate on for myself. Without the motivation to do so, I have not even bothered taking care of myself. All I have been doing for the past few days is feeling sorry for myself.
I was at a friends house for July fourth and I had a lot of fun. As soon as I left I got depressed. The whole weekend was a way to avoid my personal issues. I need to address these issues now. How do I go about that though? Everything is personal and I am not comfortable talking to others about it. Even my family does not hear about this part of my life.
To be honest, I think I am bored. Maybe if I used something like Mind Sumo or some other kind of intellectual website I would do better. It is unknown to me. I need to address the seven parts of wellness. If I would focus on them, I would do better. The main question that is in the back of my mind is, “What’s the point?”
I have a desire to live, but I do not have a desire to excel like I usually do. The fire that was inside of me is all but gone. Wanting to just make it through the day is not healthy. I feel like I need to make a difference in the world. Not all in one day, but I want my words to touch multiple people all over the world. Writing this post is helping, however.
It is surprising how strong of a coping skill my writing is. I need to further nurture this. Re-reading the paragraph prior to this was eye-opening. I realized that my writing motivates me. With that knowledge I am going to try to write daily. Whether it be on this blog or the blog for my internship.
Working on this post is helpful. With three revisions with increasing positive vibes coming from them was great. I am going to start writing creatively again. That is one skill that I have found lacking in my latest pieces.
Well, I am going to go write a short story. Thank you for reading. I will post again tomorrow!
As some of you may know, I recently started an internship at Mental Health America of Lancaster County (MHA). I am enjoying my time there, and I am learning a lot. Being autistic really has not been an issue at all while I have been there. I enjoy being there and I enjoy what I am doing there.
I am contributing to their blog and their social media, and it feels great to know that I have a wider audience now than ever before. I advertised this blog in my first post at MHA, and I have seen an increase in traffic. So, I would like to thank my new readers for coming aboard!
At MHA I have done blog posts pertaining to autism. I have done a series called, “Autism, the points you need to know.” If you would like to check those out the website is here. I think I have been doing well so far. One thing that I have noticed though is that I have not jumped the hurdle of inter-office communication with my superiors.
Issues at the Internship? No, not really.
I freeze sometimes when I run into a problem that I need help with. Just sitting at my desk and make it look like I am working is what I have been going with so far. I am afraid to approach anyone about this and I do not know what to do. It has not caused anything huge, but I am afraid that it will.
I found an article on Joyable that is helping. It states that I have freeze anxiety from what I read. It is right in that regard, and I am glad to have a definition to attach to my anxiety. I have so many types of anxiety that they need categorized. If they are not, it gets to me. This is for an unknown reason mind you. My anxiety is odd to say the least.
This internship has helped me a lot though. The biggest way is that it has given me a clear purpose. Something tangible that I can cling to and develop. The brain above is what I believe my brain was like before. All symbolic of course, but I needed to be nurtured a lot. With this internship, my sense of independence is a lot higher. I take the bus to get to the internship. I am proud of the fact. The internship has had one thing, the freeze anxiety, and that is it. It is going well and I anticipate it going well throughout the summer. Thanks for reading and I will keep you guys updated!
I start a new chapter in my life today! (Sorry for using a far overused cliche) I am starting at Mental Health of America today for an internship. I am not doing it for credit, but for the experience I hope to obtain on the mental health field. That is what I want to do with my life. I want to help those going through what I have went through or are currently going through.
I believe that no one is perfect and I wish to help everyone that I come into contact to in some way. This internship is a way for me to better myself.
Last summer, I was miserable because I had nothing to do and I was subjected to the summer blues. I don’t want this summer to be like that. That is why I am taking the internship. I also plan on getting out of the house every day so that I am not lonely. Which was another problem that I had last summer. Being in a more populated area probably is better for me. I know that sounds odd with me being autistic, but in a odd way, being around people helps me more than not being around people.
There will be challenges in this internship for me, I have no doubt. I also believe that the benefit I will be getting far exceeds any troubles that I might face. I have been having a hard time of it lately and I hope to power through all of that and work hard starting today!