Overthinking again

I tend to overthink from time to time. This is not necessarily a bad thing, yet it troubles me when it happens. It has, unfortunately, become a habit of mine to react. My reaction is usually screwing up something. This is due to me overthinking something and then thinking some more on it. Thinking on…

Depression, why do you keep coming back?

I have been up for three hours and I am being torn down by depression this morning. It might be that I am super anxious and I cannot deal with that either today. I do not know what is wrong with me today. Therefore I am blogging about it. This seems to be a great…

Sharing switch up/ Anyone out there?

It seems that I have times when my writing is horrible. Then, on other occassions, my writing is almost flawless. I am looking mainly at the times that I write. The blog post that I posted earlier this afternoon was written Friday night and scheduled. With that in mind, I am going to do an…

Social Cues, wait, what?

I realize that having autism is both a blessing and a curse; a double-edged sword if you will. On one hand, my skills at memorization are fantastic, on the other, I am horrible at the mathematics of any kind. Also, on the other hand, I do not understand social cues whatsoever.

Why am I so worried?

Obi-wan may have been sarcastic in the gif that I used above, but I am doing a good job, yet I have been having doubts as of late about myself and it is affecting my daily life in unproductive ways. I am always worried that I am failing at something. It does not have to…

A place that should not feel comfortable, yet it did

I just left New York City. I have been there since Wednesday. I was there because I was attending a conference for journalism. I was quite content there, much to my surprise. Cities are usually a place I do not feel very comfortable in. All the people and all of the sensory things. I was…

Ashamed of my own thoughts?

When it comes to sharing my thoughts on mental illness I am not usually one to falter in expressing myself. I have always thought of myself as an advocate for those who have a mental illness. Lately, I feel like I am failing at being an advocate for myself. I have come to terms with…

Regret? No, not really

I decided something today after yesterday’s rant. It has nothing to do with the rant, just consider that a shameless self-plug. What I decided is that I am going to be honest with myself. I lie to myself a lot, and that is not a good habit to have. The one that comes to mind…

Anxiety that does not matter, stuff that does matter

Had an unusual thing happen today. I had a panic attack. Now, some of you are confused, but let me explain. I had a panic attack and it did not matter. Calling it a panic attack is an overstatement in every sense of the word. It was an anxiety spike. What did I do to…

Anxiety over the small things

I had my first panic attack in two months this morning. It felt alien to me and I have to say that I enjoyed the feeling being abnormal. What I mean by this is that I have had points in my life where panic attacks were a daily thing. Admittedly, today’s panic attack was hard…

Back at School, Stress gets renewed

Being back at school has brought with it a sense of accomplishment and a sense of dread. The feeling of accomplishment is the fact that I am able to even go to school. That makes me happy. The sense of dread comes from the fact that I have no job currently. I am afraid that I will…