Anxiety over the small things

I had my first panic attack in two months this morning. It felt alien to me and I have to say that I enjoyed the feeling being abnormal. What I mean by this is that I have had points in my life where panic attacks were a daily thing. Admittedly, today’s panic attack was hard…

Back at School, Stress gets renewed

Being back at school has brought with it a sense of accomplishment and a sense of dread. The feeling of accomplishment is the fact that I am able to even go to school. That makes me happy. The sense of dread comes from the fact that I have no job currently. I am afraid that I will…

Conflict amidst the calm

My life is going great right now. It really is. I’m in a new house, I passed my course for the fall semester, I am, by all rights happy. Yet, there is something in the back of my mind that is bothering me and most of the time, I do not think of it. I…

I would be lonely in a crowded room and everywhere else

It is hard to articulate my feelings right now. It would be simple to say lonley, but I am not. It is a feeling of dread for being in a room of people and feeling alone in that room. They are family, but I am plagued by a feeling of not belonging. This seems to…

Looks like I am dropping a class

Well, that BIO test I took sucked, grade-wise at least. I got a 56 percent. I studied a lot for this one too. I got tutors, walk in tutoring and all kinds of other things. What I think is the cause of this is not only my incompetence in science, but the size of the…

Update on the test

Well, I took the test. I think I did well on the test too. I was freaked out throughout and it distracted me, but I got through it pretty well. It was a big confidence booster to me that I was able to feel like I did well on a test that had over 60…

Taking a test

Test taking and I share a history of struggle. I am good at taking tests, but I get freaked out when I take them. I am currently 10 minutes from taking a BIO test I am prepared for and that I studied vigorously for. I am terrified right now, but I know I can do…

The Anniversy that I wish would not take place

Do I have the strength to type this? That will be a question that will plague me throughout writing this post. This one is going going to be heavy and hard for me to type, but I need to get rid of this. I do not know if some of you remember my post from…

I’m writing a book! For the past ten years?

I am sure a lot of you know about Game of Thrones and other epics such as that. What I bet you did not know is that I have built a world like that and that I have been writing a book about it for the past ten years! The reason I am bringing this…

Back in the swing of things

With my last post, I mentioned I might start blogging again. I have decided to do just that and I will start in earnest on Monday, October 30th. Why wait? I need to clean some stuff up in my head to get into a spot where I am once again comfortable sharing with the internet….

The Hiatus may be over?

Hello friends! I realize it has been a while since I have last posted on this site. There are quite a few factors that can explain this. The main one is this: life. With college back in full swing, I took on a lot of responsibilities and I took a lot more than I initially…

Anticipation Anxiety, Bane of my Existence

Here is the deal, as of the writing of this piece, I am awake and anxious. I am anxious because I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and I am terrified that I will not be able to make it. Right now, it is 11 pm and my appointment is at nine am tomorrow morning. I…