Category Archives: School

Blogging Class!? Sign me up! Feedback wanted!

I am starting, or should I say, begun a class at Millersville on Monday! It is called Digital Media Writing. Which, in my mind, is all about blogging. So far the class is going really well and the texts that we have are very good. I am really excited for the class.

The big reason for this is because I want to make this blog so much better. I want to focus in on what I want to cover and I want to get your guys help with that. What do you think I have been covering the best? If I had to pick, it would be autism related posts. A case could be made for the self help ones though. Both are really strong subjects that I cover.

If I were to just focus on one, which would you guys like to see? Or do you think that a two pronged approach is better? I am gravitating towards two pronged at the moment. If I go two pronged I can continue to use the blog as a outlet and a informational self help blog at the same time.

I would also like some feedback on the blog as a whole if some of you have some free time. I would like to use some more images, but I think that, sometimes, they draw away from what I am trying to say. In some situations they probably would really help out. Do you guys want to see more images? Or would you prefer me to keep it the same as I have?

Please give me some insights and advice on how I can do better. It would not go to waste, I plan on continuing this blog for a long time, and I want to foster a community to help me out. Thanks for reading!

 

End of College Semester

I am not in college for five days. I start back up on May 15th. I am looking forward to my class very much. It’s digital media theory, which if you think about it is exactly what I am doing right now. This is digital media. I am going to learn how to talk to you guys better I hope. 

That’s five days from now though. What I want to revel in is that I have been successful in finishing this semester. I have had a lot of ups and downs. That is not an understatement at all either. I have been so close to the edge this semester. I almost fell off too. I was very close to saying I needed crisis prevention. This is not a bad thing though, don’t get me wrong. Asking for help is not a bad thing at all. 

I almost dropped out completely. I finished the semester with one class left. I withdrew from Typography II and Math. I had to medically withdraw from Math. This was due entirely to all the stress that it was causing. It was a tough time. I just do not get math. 

I went to New York City though and got through that. It was terrifying, but I had a lot of fun. I had a great group that I went with. It was a conference for student newspapers. It was awesome and very informative, but like I said, terrifying. 

I raised autism awareness in the month of April too. I got my School to light it up blue. Which was great. I learned a lot about Asperger’s and autism this year too. I still am going to differentiate the two. I think all forms of autism should be looked at closer, but that rant is for another post. 

I learned my political and moral identity this year. It was a huge step in my quest to define myself. Which does not include autism I found out. It is just something that I live with. It is just something that I have to get through everyday. 

I started blogging in earnest this year too. I have become invested in this blog and I am proud of myself for being able to open up to so many people. I know my story can help and I want to continue to help others.

I think that, all in all, this semester had been very successful. I am looking forward to the summer though. My internship and classes await!

Emotional Turmoil in School, my room, Everywhere

Recently, I have been under a lot of stress. I have been experiencing a panic attack a day practically, and I have been depressed. I have had a lot of anxiety and I have been feeling lonely. All of these things have been feeding on each other and it is hard for me to even want to go to class as a result.

The thing that I have done this week to overcome all of this is a technique that I was taught recently that really works.

The technique is as follows. I was told that physical symptoms from panic attacks last around 90 seconds. That is the essence of the technique. Get past that 90 second mark. I am happy to say this one works for me, but I caution the reliance on it. It is very tiring. What I do is I focus on my breathing. I focus on where the air is in my body. It is a technique ingrained  in mindfulness. That is why the technique works so well for me. I am, as a result of living with panic for 10 years, a master at recognizing my own symptoms.

Panic attacks have these symptoms for me:

  • Shortness of breath
  • Chest Tightens
  • Extreme fear
  • Sweating
  • Racing Thoughts
  • Sensory Intake increase

When I feel these things happening, I know a panic attack is not far behind. The thing that bothers me about my panic attacks nowadays is that they have adapted to happen at inopportune times, like I stated above. Usually right before any of my classes, but especially math and Typography. I get absolutely terrified that something completely illogical is going to happen. One time, just to illustrate the point, I thought the world was going to end. (Political climate notwithstanding) Another time, I was convinced that asteroids were on their way to surgically strike the planet to herald an alien invasion. Just to name a few of the completely illogical and unwarranted fears that I have when I have panic attacks. I know that they are not going to happen. It is far more likely that I am just having a panic attack and I am overreacting to my racing thoughts.

That is something else I want to cover in this post. I want feedback on this as well. I have panic attacks daily and I have grown so used to to them that I think I take them for granted and I dismiss the severity of having a panic disorder. Do others experience panic attacks to the rate that I do? I really want to know so we can compare notes and figure out why mine are so frequent. I think I know the answer, and it is in part because I am autistic, part because of my social phobia. It makes logical sense, but there are holes in the theory.

For instance, I have them even when I am not in a large crowd or semi large group of people. I have them when I am alone. I have them randomly and I have them triggered. I am just wondering what others feel and what the rate is.

Thanks so much for reading! Please leave me comments! I want to hear from you guys!

I must focus! How I got through this day unscathed!

Today was tough and brutal on me. Brutal is a good thing though for me though, so, why was it tough? Exacto-knives are why. I used one today successfully! Uncut and panicky, I made it through cutting my book out for my typography class. My heart was beating and I was shaky really hard at the end, but my focus was, excuse the pun, razor sharp. I was not shaking as I used the blade itself. Which is really good if you think about it!

I think it should be mentioned that my Professor is the All-Star in this scenario, by the way. Professor Mata has been very understanding of my needs and I am eternally grateful

Here is the picture of the finished product for the cutting phase.

20161121_1723311

Sorry for the bad quality, my phone camera is not the greatest, but I think that I did a pretty good job. Like I said I was shaking for about ten minutes after the fact so it is clear that I still have issues holding sharp blades, but that will be talked about another time in another post. I don’t know how I feel with being open about my past on here. It probably doesn’t matter, but I have to get through this semester before I think about that.

Hopefully I can post more over the long weekend. I am really behind on the mental health stuff, but I can and will catch up!

Thanks for reading!

The Monologue got turned into a Book! Not a book that will eat your face though!

My monologue that I chose has been adapted into a book of my creation! The book physically looks terrible, but I am of the mindset that shaky hands and craftsmanship do not go together all that well. I will now show you a picture of shaky hand worksmanship:

 

20161116_1452491

If I made books, I would take this picture as an insult personally, but I have really shaky hands when I try to do craft stuff and I just have accepted that I cannot do it. With that said, the monologue is the speech that General Hux gives to the First Order right before firing Starkiller base and killing billions of people. It was in a movie by the way, that didn’t really happen. That would be scary if it did though. Anyway, I love this speech that Hux did because of the delivery that the actor gives. It is spot on for a Bad guy speech and it is just dripping with contempt and hatred. It is my kind of speech. Regardless of my technical skill I think the type that I used for the book was really good. For the title page I used the Star Wars font. Which was easily found on Dafont. I would probably buy this font to be perfectly honest with you though. It is Star Wars after all.

I went over the font choices for the inside in a earlier post so there is no point in rehashing everything. Just read that post! Have a amazing day!

Monologue that is actually a monologue

Unlike my previous monologue choice, which was not actually a monologue, I am happy with the composition of this one.

Here is a link to the monologue of General Hux’s Speech from Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens.

actual-mono-rough-draft

I would like to know what you guys think. I think the words that I emphasized were good choices and I think that the typeface that was used, Copperplate Gothic Bold, was a good choice as well. General Hux is very impassioned during this speech and I made the words that he is shouting a lot bigger and I made everything progressively bigger as he continued with his speech. This was to signify his passion. With the font choice I thought that using a font that used all caps as the base would be a good choice. Hux does not slow down in tempo or vigor throughout the speech so I think it worked well. Hopefully this translates well to the booklet portion of the project.

I am very nervous about this part. I have very shaky hands and I am not exactly comfortable using an exacto knife for this project. I watched the demo that my instructor did for this part with a continually growing sense of dread. I think I might require assistance for this part. The exacto knife is used, very lightly, to cut the fibers in the paper. This will make it easier to fold for the booklet. I understand the theory behind the process, but like I said, I am nervous with myself and a exacto knife.

It will all work out though, I am sure. I just have to trust that it will. It always has before.

Well, I feel dumb

I feel really dumb right now. In my haste to use the most iconic scene in all of movies for the monologue project, I forgot that a monologue is only one person. The scene from Empire actually has two people. Vader and Luke. So, instead of doing that scene, I will be using General Hux’s speech right before the firing of Starkiller base in Episode VII. Not nearly as iconic, but still an amazing scene.

Monologue Project Progress check… STAR WARS!

I am doing a project for Typography that really makes me happy. Any time that I get to use Star Wars in a school project I get really happy. I am assuming that most of you know what a monologue is. With that in mind I did not pick a monologue per-se. I picked a scene from the greatest movie to ever exist. That movie being Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, which is also my favorite movie.

The exact scene that I am using is one of the most iconic scene in all movies. I am of course talking about the conclusion of Darth Vader’s and Luke’s duel. I pick up right after Darth Vader makes Luke the offer to join him to destroy the Emperor.

Here is the exact script:

                                LUKE
		I'll never join you!

				VADER
		If you only knew the power of the 
		dark side.  Obi-Wan never told 
		you what happened to your father.

				LUKE
		He told me enough!  He told me you 
		who killed him.

				VADER
		No.  I am your father.

 

darth-vader

 

Here is how I am translating this scene so far. Note this is a real rough draft so it doesn’t have the flair that it should.

rough-draft-mono

Like I said, it is not beautiful at all, but I think going for a super dark, evil, sith-like font works very well for Vader. It adds to the emotion of the scene and I think it works well. The font that I used is called DK Plague Master. I am using the bare bones version that I downloaded at Dafont. Here is the exact URL: http://www.dafont.com/dk-plague-master.font

I used three different fonts, which might be risky, but I think it works. The parts of dialogue for Luke are in Britannic Bold and Vader’s dialogue is just Arial Black. I thought that the sleekness that the Britannic bold has really contributes to Luke’s character, and I think the boldness and impact that arial black has contributes to Vader’s character really well.

I used the DK Plague Master on a few words in the project. Those words being Dark side, father, NO, and I. Using that font on those words add to the severity of what Vader is saying. I would have preferred to use just the Star Wars font for the whole thing, but I couldn’t find an acceptable Star Wars font.

What do you guys think of the design? Let me know in the comments!

T-Shirt Project is finally done!

I finally presented the t-shirt for my typography class! It has been a long time coming, but less than a half an hour ago I presented my shirt and I did not die!

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There it is! I used a simple design for the sun. I also incorporated Dark Souls into the design as well. Transforming the phrase “Praise the Sun” to “Bask in the Glow”. I wanted to also show that Baskerville translated a lot of epics so I picked my two favorite ones. The Aeneid by Virgil and Paradise Lost by John Milton. I used a really simple design for the people because I cannot draw to save my life. So I used stick figures. BUT, I used the portraits of both Milton and Virgil. So I really am happy with that part of the shirt.

Praise the Sun! Bask in the glow! Whatever! Dark Souls! Typography!

So as I said in a earlier post,

https://desn240hughesnickolas.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/this-is-not-the-last-t-shirt-post-there-will-be-more-they-are-coming/

I posted all of my ideas for the t-shirt project. I came up with the one I really want to do though and if I can pull it off it will be awesome. It will appeal to Dark Souls fans, typographers, and in general, cool people. My idea came from the thought that Baskerville’s name has the word bask in it. So why not run with that? Then I thought about the Dark Souls thing about “Praising the Sun!” and I got it! Have the words “Bask in the glow” on the front with two groupings of words underneath in a boring font. Like times or maybe even go comic sans. Yeah I would go there. Then on the back have a illustration of the sun. This part will suck because I have to draw, but anyway, have the sun and then the text underneath transformed into the Baskerville font! The text in question will be the title of two books that Baskerville translated in the 1700s. The books Paradise Lost and the Aeneid. I think this will tie everything that has been brewing in my head about this real nicely.

Here is the sketch. Warning: I suck at drawing.

 

pick