Rebel Cause Lancaster

I have recently become involved in a charity organization in Lancaster, PA. It is known as Rebel Cause Lancaster. What is great about me joining Rebel Cause is the validation that it gave. Prior to learning about the group I was close to a point where I did not know what to do with Star…

Ashamed of my own thoughts?

When it comes to sharing my thoughts on mental illness I am not usually one to falter in expressing myself. I have always thought of myself as an advocate for those who have a mental illness. Lately, I feel like I am failing at being an advocate for myself. I have come to terms with…

Regret? No, not really

I decided something today after yesterday’s rant. It has nothing to do with the rant, just consider that a shameless self-plug. What I decided is that I am going to be honest with myself. I lie to myself a lot, and that is not a good habit to have. The one that comes to mind…

Anxiety that does not matter, stuff that does matter

Had an unusual thing happen today. I had a panic attack. Now, some of you are confused, but let me explain. I had a panic attack and it did not matter. Calling it a panic attack is an overstatement in every sense of the word. It was an anxiety spike. What did I do to…

Anxiety over the small things

I had my first panic attack in two months this morning. It felt alien to me and I have to say that I enjoyed the feeling being abnormal. What I mean by this is that I have had points in my life where panic attacks were a daily thing. Admittedly, today’s panic attack was hard…

Back at School, Stress gets renewed

Being back at school has brought with it a sense of accomplishment and a sense of dread. The feeling of accomplishment is the fact that I am able to even go to school. That makes me happy. The sense of dread comes from the fact that I have no job currently. I am afraid that I will…

Conflict amidst the calm

My life is going great right now. It really is. I’m in a new house, I passed my course for the fall semester, I am, by all rights happy. Yet, there is something in the back of my mind that is bothering me and most of the time, I do not think of it. I…

I’m writing a book! For the past ten years?

I am sure a lot of you know about Game of Thrones and other epics such as that. What I bet you did not know is that I have built a world like that and that I have been writing a book about it for the past ten years! The reason I am bringing this…

Empathy replaced? Innocence is missed.

I have noticed a shift in myself, and it is one that I do not like. I have become less emphatic with other people’s situations. That is not to say that I have lost it completely, but it is something I want to put a stop to right now.

Habits that need to be broken

I am overweight. There is no way around it, and I always feel embarrassed when I talk about it. I am trying hard to not eat as much. It is not going well to say the least. I weighed 452 pounds the last time I was weighed on a scale that could weigh me. It…