The future but on my present tense

I have been struggling lately. Not with the usual depression or anxiety, but another issue. I’m heartbroken. I do not know why or who either, but when my heart has been broken before this is how I felt. I’m constantly unsure of what the future holds and that scares me. I want love, but I’m willing to wait. I need to get to a point where I am comfortable enough with myself before I am in anothers life.

What will it take to make me comfortable? I have no idea and at this point, I feel too dejected to care. I write this and the feeling of remorse from my only semi successful relationship pops up. It wasn’t truly successful. I was happy for a time, however. I want that feeling of love back. I do not think my present mindset is conducive to this though.

Am I meant to find love? Maybe, but in my mind right now, I’m not. I have feelings of hopelessness currently that are hard to ignore. I’m going to push on though. Maybe something will happen, not likely, but maybe.

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