Being back at school has brought with it a sense of accomplishment and a sense of dread. The feeling of accomplishment is the fact that I am able to even go to school. That makes me happy. The sense of dread comes from the fact that I have no job currently. I am afraid that I will fail at finding a job and fail my roommates. I do not want them to shoulder the financial burden.
It is not fair to them at all and I feel horrible that I have created this situation. I am getting headway in the job search and I am applying everywhere that I can think of. There is a silver lining in all of this, however, that being that I have a house that I can call home and that I have friends willing to help.
A couple years ago I doubt I would have been able to live on my own, but here I am. Living away from my parents and surviving.
I just started two classes here at Millersville this past Monday and I believe that I will enjoy my classes a lot. They are both journalism courses and I feel quite comfortable doing the work so far. I am excited about this semester and I am looking forward to all the writing that I will be able to do.
On a great note, I have started writing poetry again and it feels great that I have regained the confidence to write some. Would you guys like to read some of my pieces on here? I think that if I put it up on here I can reach a wider audience than that of a literary magazine. I am going to submit a couple stories to the George Street Carnival literary magazine here at Millersville. I want to sharpen my ability.
I feel like my writing has been stale lately and I want to start creative writing again because I am the thought that creative writing makes all your writing good, if not great. I know I am not Martin or Zahn, but I have always dreamed of being considered one of the greats. I struggle with my writing identity. I know that I will be writing journalistic pieces a lot, but I gain only a little pleasure from that. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is a lot of fun, but I love crafting poetry and prose. Not many people on here know it, but I am writing a novel. It is called SouLess and the last time I checked I have about five notebooks filled with content for the series.
I think I am going to end by posting a piece that I wrote today after class. I appreciate you taking the time to read!
Quarrel with no bearing,
I take fear without.
Yet fear is mine
my monster, this force.
Influence the mind
one disdainful stroke.
One fruit left in the pot.
I alas do not fear the poison
undoubtedly in the fruit
for I taste the flesh