Well, I took the test. I think I did well on the test too. I was freaked out throughout and it distracted me, but I got through it pretty well. It was a big confidence booster to me that I was able to feel like I did well on a test that had over 60 people in the room.
I probably do not have to remind some of you, but for the others, I’m terrified of crowds of people over 20. I say 20 because that is my reasonable limit of people that I can be around and not freak out. Yet, I was able to be in a room of 60 people and I took a test. This may not sound like a big deal to a lot of people, but for those on the spectrum, this is a huge deal. Especially those who also have social anxiety to go with it.
This accomplishment is not acting as a catalyst though and I am somewhat surprised by this. Usually, when I do something this big, I have a sense of elation and I always feel great about it. Nowadays this feels like commonplace and that is a great thing for me.
I look at myself and my accomplishments while having autism and I think that it is not a big deal. Most of the people in my support network think it is a big deal though. I want to live my life, having a disability, in relative comfort and happiness. I find myself restless though. I feel like I have to do more and I do not know if I can. Am I pushing myself too far? That is a question that I will be addressing in the coming months.
That being the case, I have a pretty big moment about to happen in my life and I am anxious, scared, excited and elated at the same time. I am moving into a house with two people that have worked with the Snapper. I am really excited about this and I am also, like I said, terrified of this.
I will keep you all posted! Thanks!