I cannot think about what to Write

Writing is one of my best outlets for anxiety and depression. I have wrote about it so much for the school paper, for this blog, and in my personal stuff. I don’t know what to write about anymore though. I guess I could turn the page into an activist page for autism, but the scope, I believe, is too narrow. I want to include all people with disabilities if I were to do that.

I don’t want to write exclusively about Star Wars either. I love Star Wars, but that doesn’t help you, the reader. I want to help people, as I have said in many posts. I just do not know what else I can do at the moment.

I guess I could let you all know my numbers for the day. What I mean by that is making a scale of my various emotions. I think that if I examine each with you guys, I could gain some insight as to why I feel the way I feel.

Lets start with the usual ones for me. Those being depression, anxiety, and fear. My depression would be a 2/10 right now. My anxiety is 7/10 and I am not experiencing any fear at the moment. What I am experiencing right now is a weight on my shoulders I cannot seem to shrug off.

With this weight I have become tired and I doze off a lot lately. I am dozing off just trying to write this. Its nine in the morning, and I feel like going back to bed. I do not know if I am comfortable letting you guys know what this weight is. I know if I said anything it would hurt those involved and I do not want that to ever happen.

I just finished re-reading this post before I published it and I apologize for the rambling. It was therapeutic for me though. Now I am going to go start my day and hope for the best.

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