Over the last couple of weeks I have had a lot of ups and even more downs. The balance of power between the two is leaning towards that of the negative as of late. I am working hard to change that right now and I have been taking steps to change it. Sometimes it works, sometimes its does not. Either way I am struggling with my self worth.
As a result of this I made a Facebook post that read as follows:
I find that, lately at least, my depression is becoming overwhelming. In an attempt to boost my own self confidence, and perhaps bring forth fond memories, I am asking all my friends to let me know why they think I am a worthwhile person. I want to know what everyone else finds in me that I cannot. Thank you to those who comment. It really means a lot.
The response that I got was overwhelming and I am thankful to all the people who commented. It did a lot to help me. It helped me get out of the slump that day. In the comments that I received I was called an Empath. At first I took the compliment and thought it was a nice thing to say. Then I started to think about it. What is an empath? Why would I be called one?
It was a problem that I felt I needed to figure out. So I started to investigate. I found out that an empath is someone who is able to discern other people’s feelings.When I discovered this definition I was shocked to say the least. I have been living my life with the thought that being autistic meant that I could not understand others emotions that I was not able to understand body language at all.
My friends told me different. I am very thankful that they did. The reason for this is because I was forced to re-examine how I looked at myself and through that process I reinvented my own beliefs of myself.
I feel like I am meant to help people. I want to start that process now. I want to formally say that I want to help and that I will do what I can to help you all. I can help by being a wannabe listener. I think that is the best thing that I can do so please come to me for help. Any kind. Thank you.