The Not So Great Outdoors

Nature is a wonderful thing and I think that it should be preserved to the highest degree. Unfortunately, I am not always able to enjoy it. Sometimes, I cannot even go outside. I get scared, terrified even, of just stepping out the front door. It is not a common thing, but lately it has been happening a lot. I am, frankly, tired of it and I wish that there was a way that I could convince myself that I will be safe out there. That is the whole problem. A fear for my own safety.

I have racing thoughts. That is, my thoughts go faster than I am able to keep up with them, and I have a lot of trouble sorting through everything. Combined with my illogical train of thought, this sometimes turns out bad for me.

An extreme example, I walk outside, and I am then surrounded by serpent men and I get killed in a extremely gory and brutal fashion. My mind works like that by the way. Anyway, I am disemboweled by snake people and the planet explodes. This is the line of thinking I sometimes arrive at. I know it is completely irrational and that snake people are not going to kill me. Mainly because they do not actually exist. Also the planet would not explode as a result of me being killed by snake people. Stuff just does not work that way.

Anyways, sorry for the tangent, my line of thought gets pretty out of hand very quickly. All of this leads to me not wanting to go outside. Not always, but sometimes. The fear that I feel is very real however and I hate it. I start to doubt myself and I get scared. Even more so than before. The fear is not understood by some people, but I assure you, it is very real.

I would like to extend an invitation for help also. What do you, my friends, think I should do? I truly want to know, because I am not sure what to do anymore.


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