Debilitating Anxiety. The kind that makes you freeze.

I have had panic attacks and anxiety spikes throughout my life. Some were warranted, and some were not warranted. Some made no sense at all and some I could decipher with relative ease. There is one type, however, that I, as of now, cannot cope with very well. I cannot use coping skills and nothing I do can change that. This is what I call freezing panic attacks.

These kind of panic attacks are opposite of the traditional panic attack for me. Instead of sweating and shaking uncontrollably, I get cold and I cannot talk. It is a physical lock on my ability to speak. It is quite frustrating in the moment and it is even more frustrating after the fact. I feel about as worthless as a human can feel.

Usually these panic attacks occur during a conversation. I will be talking, having fun sometimes, and it hits.I immediately stop talking or if I was not talking I will not respond. I clamp up and my entire body tenses up.

This type is worse than the usual ones because it just does not affect me. It affects the people I am talking to. I cannot talk so they get frustrated and everyone feels frustrated and no one is having fun anymore. I see all of this unfold and feel powerless to stop it. This is because I cannot talk and tell them what is happening.

The powerlessness that is felt with these panic attacks is the worse feeling that I get and I would not want any one to ever feel this way. I feel upset just thinking about these so I am going to end this post and try to calm down. Thanks for reading.

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