In the year 2009 I hated myself. I hated everything about me. What I looked like, my face, my beard, how I carried myself, my autism, you think it, I hated it about myself.
All this hatred stemmed from severe depression. This one isn’t easy to tackle, but when is depression easy? I am tackling this one now because of particular events that have happened to me personally.
I am a student at Millersville University and I feel completely alone save my family and three people. This links directly to my unwarranted anxiety post. I created a false logic and have begun to believe it.
With that being said it is now compounded by self-loathing. The hole is really deep and I will need help to get out, but I took a huge step in healing myself: talking about it in this blog. The reason this blog really exists in this moment is to help me. It is not selfish to want to heal yourself. I want people to know that fact . Being proactive in your emotional happiness should be your number one concern. If you are happy, those around you will sense it and they will be happy too.
Self-loathing is something all people with depression have to deal with and we are not fair to ourselves. We are not fair because we have expectations of ourselves, but I think if you are realistic with yourself you avoid the pitfall of self-loathing. Avoiding this is a key to happiness.
It is different in many ways and all of us go through it. Personally, I let myself feel the pain then I let it go. Think back to my anxiety post and imagine that with depression. It works for me, and it might work for you. Please let you help yourself.